I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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