Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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