I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
