I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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