Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
