I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
