No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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