Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
