The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
