That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
