And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
