there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
