I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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