You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
you guys were way drunker than both of me
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
