Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
