look no pants
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
