Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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