can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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