Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
how drunk are you?
Several
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
