you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
