How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
please come you make the beer taste better
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
