So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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