no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
