I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
