That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
