thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
