I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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