Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Randomize
