Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
