Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
