with your own penis?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I need to calm my uterus...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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