i was born a porn star she said
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
