chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He did a backflip because drugs
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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