I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
