Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i dont even know how to be here
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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