Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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