Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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