My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
