No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
