using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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