Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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