She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
