I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
