Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
