I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
