She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
