I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
high people should be assigned attendants
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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