I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
