New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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