Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
