I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
