3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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