I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
