I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
